Watch a rich White dude get a bad case of the Murder Sads.

Fuck Woody Allen (but don’t).

Jeff continues to touch men…emotionally, and we are HERE for it.

We think Jeff’s bop is just right.

“I’m not sorry, all men are pigs!”

“I’m rightly appetized by this whole world.”

“Beady eyed little man child.”

We don’t want to be on Portlandia’s chore wheel.

“Mmm, power. One of the two things in life better than toast.”

“Her calves are like calzones.”

“You say balls too much. Way too in love with balls. Balls. Balls! Balls!”

Despite popular belief, neither of us have ever been to Portland.

“Excuse me, geniuses.”

“Come down and eat chicken with me, beautiful.”

Come join us at the cat’s birthday party of the damned!

According to the soundtrack, the 70s was just a long game show. But everybody lost and that’s why we got Reagan.

Don’t let the fact that half of cast died horribly keep you from this. But do let the homophobia and transphobia keep you away.

We want Jeff to be our non-imaginary friend.

Somewhere in the middle of this three hour slog, Jeff does some salt magic and it makes all the difference.

“I have a donkey dick.” - Jeff