“Van Moon Rising” (2011) Allen Gregory S1E07
Bekkah:
The first clue that this was going to be bad was that Jonah Hill is a producer. And also the voice of the title character. Jonah Hill is just telling on himself at this point. This is an anti-Jonah Hill blog, in case you care. (But a vehemently pro-Beanie Feldstein!!) Anyway this episode was creepy, gross, sexist, racist, fatphobic, maybe slightly transphobic? Who knew Jeff Goldblum as a rich snobby white dude with an adopted African son would be one of the least problematic characters on this shitshow. Fortunately he was only in one episode so we don’t have to watch any more! No wonder this train wreck got canceled.
Danya:
We are in the deep deep dregs of Jeff’s canon. This absurdist adult cartoon from 2011 (was it even on tv? straight to youtube? do I care enough to google it?) focused on the hilarity of a 7th grader having a crush on his principal who was old (gasp) and fat (double gasp). It was creepy and not charming. Jeff played someone’s nemesis who adopted an African kid to look good, so that’s the whole vibe of this show which tries to be funny but is def not for me.
2/10 Jeff Goldewwws
A pretentious seven-year-old attempts to attend regular grade school after his family goes through hard times.
