Mini’s First Time (2006)
Bekkah:
Uhhhh what? This movie was terrible, but also engaging. Jeff was playing a creepier version of himself. Everyone was completely terrible. Rich people have problems that I can’t comprehend. Judy, the polar bear rug/blanket, was Our Hero and also Very Confusing. Unlikeable everyone. This movie was written by gross men for gross men and I cannot understand these gross men! Why are men?
Danya:
There are some movies that you can just tell are written by men, and this is one of those. It’s like, you know how Lolita is not actually sexy, but just child abuse? It’s like that, only in movie form. Mini is not a real person, but very clearly some dude’s 2-d version of a teenage murdery sex doll. I hate everything about this movie, except the outfits and that Jeff is basically playing himself. I would 100% believe he did not have a script, but just tapped into his deep internal jeff-ness at every opportunity. Alex Baldwin is not a good person.
Special Guest Jacob:
I am typing this review at a time when I am very tired. This movie reminded me of many C-level movies that I’ve watched before, but with big name celebrities? I’m guessing someone had a lot of money who wanted to make a bad movie? O. Spoiler. This was not a great movie. Also, Jeff did not take off his shirt - this would have made the movie better. Makeup was on-point for the time. Overall, I’d say this was a really bad version of “Cruel Intentions.” I imagine friends of Jeff, and Alec Baldwin, probably make fun of them still because of this film. The polar bear blanket was odd. End review.
4/10 Venus Fly Traps
A rebellious girl hooks up with an escort agency, where her stepfather is a client.
Director Nick Guthe
Writer Nick Guthe
Stars Alec Baldwin Nikki Reed Carrie-Anne Moss
