Raines (2007) “Stone Dead” & “Fifth Step”
Bekkah:
I am getting the feeling for why this show was canceled after 7 episodes. Jeff, who seriously oozes charisma out of literally every pore, is forced into a weird charmless cop role and none of the other recurring characters even have a personality. Hey, writers for this show! Having a dead friend does not a personality make! Maybe in episode 5 we saw one of the other detectives maybe also needs therapy? Is that personality? Also, no. This show isn’t terrible. It’s certainly no Golden Globe Nominated Show Emily in Paris*, but it just has no heart. These two episodes could have done so much more with the… stoner comic book artist protecting his comic book elder pal and the… white lady addict with her shitty judge husband and sex worker/NA sponsor (sex)friend? But those episodes were just weird and violent and/or full of Nazi shit (but at least the Nazis are unequivocally bad and not members of congress in this alternate reality). Anyway, two more episodes left in this series!
*I did not watch Emily in Paris because it looked like white girl garbage and I won’t, so take this dig as you will.
Danya:
Both of these episodes together really illustrate why this show was only one season. It constrains Jeff’s glory, and there is no over arching character development. Each of these self-contained episodes felt unevenly plotted, and scripted by, as Bekkah put it, “a bunch of boomers trying to pretend to act like stoners.” It has a very “hey, fellow teens” vibes. The “fifth step” was by far the more compelling of the two episodes, if just for the gauzy rose-petal in the wind and harp lesbian fantasies that Raines has. And by compelling, I mean I was compelled to point out all the way the male gaze is THE WORST. Also, it was nice that Nazis were all bad and depicted as total loons and not just as the blandly evil that we know today, where anybody you walk by on the street may have just stormed the Capitol. Only two more episodes and we’re back to our regular schedule of Jeff 80s movies!
5/10 Goldbloooms
A twenty-year-old aspiring comic-book illustrator trying to get away from his life as a drug dealer is found dead. Meanwhile, Raines has growing concerns about the emotional well-being of his dead partner's son.
Director: Félix Enríquez Alcalá (as Felix Alcala)
Writers: Graham Yost (creator), Bruce Rasmussen
Stars: Jeff Goldblum, Owen Beckman, Romeo Brown
The wife of Raines' friend, a judge who sent one of the leaders of the Aryan Brotherhood to prison, is killed in what seems to be their retaliation. Raines learns that the judge is a liar and that the victim may have had a lesbian lover.
Director: Paul Michael Glaser
Writers: Graham Yost (creator), Taylor Elmore
Stars: Jeff Goldblum, Matt Craven, Dov Davidoff
