Bekkah:

The last line of this movie was literally Jeff saying, “I have to pee,” to a woman with very 2001 eyebrows who he was in bed with.

We thought this would be on-theme for Valentine’s Day week. A movie with Jeff playing the romantic interest of Leslie Mann (not Rita Wilson, because I can’t read) called Perfume sounded pretty fun. But this movie was not pretty fun. It was very confusing and had a million people who didn’t seem to make any sense. Don’t get me wrong, this was a stellar cast! In addition to Jeff, Leslie, and Rita, we had Morena Baccarin, Peter Gallagher, Jared Harris, Michelle Williams, Gaby Hoffman, Omar Epps, Mariska Hargitay, and so many more! But this plot was weak. Jeff was kind of a creep. I didn’t care who ended up happy in the end (spoiler: no one?). This movie about fashion shows had shitty outfits (except for Jeff’s leather pants, 10/10 Goldbutts for sure). I think this one just fell flat for me. I really only paid attention to the scenes Jeff was in, like the one with his twitchy pecs playing the role of his shifty eyes/lip licks this time around. I would watch that scene again.

Danya:

This movie begins with a pile of thin, mostly white, all young, all naked women. It ends with Jeff Goldblum saying that he needs to pee. There’s some stuff in between, but it was all very vague and most people had very 2001 eyebrows (r). There’s a casually gay couple, one of whom is still friendly with his wife. There are some nice white ladies who are trying to put on a fashion show and at least one of them is sleeping with Jeff. There’s a rapper wearing a bear as a coat. There’s Jen from Dawson’s Creek with whyte-girl dreads. There’s A. LOT. This movie really only made sense after I read the wiki page and learned that the characters improvised their own dialogue.

4/10 Goldblums

Perfume on IMDB

A week in the lives of a group of models, photographers, agents, reporters, publicists and other characters during a wild modeling show in New York City.

Director: Michael Rymer

Writers: Michael Rymer, L.M. Kit Carson

Stars: Lysa Apostle, Joanne Baron, Morena Baccarin